I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
