I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
