He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
