he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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