And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
