i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
