DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
