I could have mohawked her pubes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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