Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
