just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
