toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
