roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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