Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Less talking, more tequila
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
