So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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