why didn't you poke me back
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
