In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
