Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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