Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
