my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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