he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
