i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
