hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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