it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
