Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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