doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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