i permit you to call me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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