I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
