It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
