Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
