Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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