I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize