dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
wow bdsm is so cute
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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