Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

fair is fair

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises

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(713): View more from Texas

I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight

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(310): View more from California

Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.

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(303): View more from Colorado

im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels

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(207): View more from Maine

Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.

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