I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
