AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
