so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
