Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
