what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
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