16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
