so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
