do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
