remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
