Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize