My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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