WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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