oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
