About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
