and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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