I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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