I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
