So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
