my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
