Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
