How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
