You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
