he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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