new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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