hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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