I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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